Play Nice
by ImaginaryL0V3
Summary: It all started with the kiddie table. So, It happens to be the modern era, What goes down between Jane and Gunther on Pepper and Rakes fabulous wedding day. Hilarity ensues... warning: some mature themes and may be some offensive language. Slightly suggestive comments. Nothing totally awful, trust me! sidenote: all characters ages are different, slight OOC
1. Chapter 1 Play Nice

**Heyy Guys! Abi here, this is my very first fanfic so please be nice! I love jane and the dragon to bits, and I wanted to shake things up between jane and Gunther and throw a whole new modern setting to it… and this is what it turned out to be! I Hope you guys like it!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own the Jane and the dragon or any of the characters.**

**Chapter one.**

"you've got to be kidding me."

"What's the matter, Jane, too good for the kiddie table?"

Kids she could handle. Even this miserable group. It was _him_ Jane Turnkey couldn't stand. She closed her eyes, scrunched them shut for all of ten seconds, praying to every patron saint she'd ever heard of that she wasn't in this situation. She opened her eyes.

Gunther Breech waved.

She decided to try again.

"St. Jude isn't a saint anymore, but hey, whatever floats your boat."

Jane, deciding neither the saints nor God would be very sympathetic to a person thinking in that kind of language spun on her heel with full intention of wringing the neck of whoever switched her table card. "This is a mistake!"

"I'm afraid it's not," the wedding coordinator, Lavinia, said three and a half minutes later. "Rake and Pepper expressly stated they wanted you and Gunther seated at table seven. I thought it a bit odd-"

"Odd? It's the kiddie table, Lavinia!" Jane cried in exasperation. The sixteen year old shrugged. "I'm the coordinator, Jane. Not you. If you have something to say, you can say it to my father." Jane paled at Lavinia's words. Lavinia's father owned almost every company in Kippernia. He was considered a king of the town almost. That's probably how she ended up with so many jobs at the age of sixteen. She liked keeping herself busy.

"Please, Jane, You're making a scene." She tutted.

Jane blew a curl that popped loose from her over complicated hairstyle out of her eye. "This isn't a remotely a scene. When Gunther pantsd me during a baseball game at a family reunion, that was a scene. When he told my mother I was pregnant with his love child at my very own 16th birthday party, that was a scene. When he taped five hundred blown up condoms to my front porch, that was a scene!"

"You forgot the time you told my date I gave you crabs in the middle of a crowded restaurant." Gunther's irritating voice had the nerve to sound amused.

Jane felt her blood pressure rise. She didn't bother to turn around. The jerk would probably be smiling. "It was syphilis. If you're going to mention it, get it right."

"Mr. Breech, Jane, you have to understand-"

"Why is he 'Mr. Breech' while I'm 'Jane'?"

"Because, I'm the man, Jane." He grunted when the point of her elbow met his ribs.

Lavinia simply rolled her eyes at their bickering.

"And there's the happy couple!" exclaimed a shrill voice from behind. That voice belonged to none other than Adeline Turnkey. "Don't they look just?" Lavinia giggled.

"Just what?" Jane turned to see her mother, followed by her uncles Theodore and Ivon.

"Just miserable, sweetie. Leave Miss Lavinia alone now. This is entirely our doing." Adeline, her blonde hair glistening and looking perfect despite the humid heat that had Jane's red curls in an uproar, shushed the mischievous coordinator away.

Ivon, looking unusual and out of place with a suit and tie and a bushy red 'mo' spoke up with a gruff voice.

"We're punishing the two of you. You want to act like children, you'll be treated like them. Quite frankly, we're tired of having our family events ruined by your constant bickering and pranks. Especially you, Gunther."

Jane couldn't help sliding him a superior look, uplifted eyebrow included without charge. "Torturing poor Jane when you know she hasn't had a date to protect her in years!" Adeline blurted. Gunther fluttered his ostrich-sized lashes. Jane considered spontaneous combustion."Mother!"

"The truth hurts, sweetie." Adeline patted her head like a child and stalked off.

"Now," Theodor piped up "The two of you go back to that table, eat your food, do your toasts and, for the love of Pete, try to control yourselves! This is Pepper and Rakes wedding. Let them have their day." He scolded, following Ivon to the refreshments.

"Don't you think using today to punish me takes away from their day? I mean, _come on_! I'm her bloody _maid-of-honor_ for goodness sake!" She asked, crossing her arms over the chest Pepper's chosen bridesmaid dress almost forgot to cover. Gunther ignored her, staring each child down. That's when Lavinia strutted past with a smug smile on her face, showing her perfect, pearly whites. "_Play nice_."

**So how was it!? Please R&R, they would be much appreciated. There will be more to come **_**very **_**soon, I promise… It might even be up in a few hours because of my impatience xD**


	2. Chapter 2 Wedding From Hell

**Hola amigos! New chapter, yaaayy! I made it waaaay longer! So I hope you enjoy. Jane and Gunther are OOC I'm afraid. Gunther isn't annoying enough. I just can't bring myself to do it. And Jane is being really bleergghh- I didn't realize until after, but, whatever. Sorry for any mistakes, I saw so many in the last chapter, I kept mentally cringing. Uggh. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Jane and the Dragon or any of the characters.**

**Chapter Two.**

"I hate you. You are the reason fungus exists. You are the slime that grows in swamps that even acid can't break down-"

"How long do you plan to keep this up Jane?"

"Why?"

"Because I was going to hail down a bottle of beer and I figured you might get thirsty having your mouth open so much." Gunther sighed.

"Make it a white wine," Jane scrunched her nose in distaste. She was eighteen now and thought she might just give it a try just to forget the chaos right now. "And I'll keep it short" Jane pouted. With a laugh, Gunther got up from his chair and rolled his eyes. "No, you won't, but it might slow you down. Be right back." How he managed to get such a lanky body out of a chair that gracefully would always be a mystery to her. The man was one length connected to another length. And that tux should be illegal. Or at least have some sort of warning on it. _Caution: Long exposure can cause blindness._

Or stupidity.

Jane looked at the faces across from her on the round table. Three girls, three boys. Alternating. The girls were all trying to make eye contact in some way or another. The boys were taking gleeful pleasure in stopping them. Until Gunther left. Now all eyes were on Jane.

For the first time ever, she couldn't wait for him to come back.

"What are you doing here?" A little blonde girl asked in a not-so-conspiratorial whisper.

"Yeah. Is that your husband?" A measly boy asked in a loud voice.

"Are you divorcing? My parents are divorcing. They don't talk nice either." The wide-eyed brunette frowned, a picture of pity. Gunther seriously needed to hurry up. "They're nicer than you though, they don't call each other names in front of us kids." She frowned.

_Is this what guilt felt like?_

"He was really nice before _you_ got here," the blonde commented, placing her napkin on her floral dress's lap. "Gave us quarters, told us jokes. Do you have quarters?"

"No, I make real money."

"So you got dollars then?"

Ambitious little thing. "Only for quiet children."  
>"I'm quiet." The last little girl said, green eyes huge and beseeching. Where the hell was Gunther?<p>

"Sorry, Jane, they only had white zinfandel. I figured you'd be able to handle pink-" Gunther quieted abruptly when she jumped out of her seat and directly into his path. His eyes widened when she took the glass and gulped down the contents only to practically toss it on the table. "You okay, Jane?" He said, eyes narrowing in suspiciousness.

"Not really, but if you get me away from this table, I promise not to call you anything mean for a whole three minutes." Spotting the DJ across the room, she frowned. Under normal circumstances, she would have avoided dancing at all costs. Adding a pompous dress, over-complicated hair, caked makeup, Gunther Breech and six measly children to the mix, Jane couldn't help but feel desperate. She could barely live with that. The DJ was just finishing his set up, so she grabbed Gunther's hand and pulled him along with her. "I hope you have money, Gunther, because we're going to need it."

"When did my wallet get involved in your hysteria?"

"When you got me stuck at a table with six versions of 20 questions." They reached the DJ, an almost smiling man with a receding hairline trying a little too hard to be hip. "Can you get the music started now?"

"Now?" the man looked at Gunther for verification. Gunther sighed, reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out a bill.

"Sure. You want slow songs?"

"Anything." Relieved, Jane started towards the dance floor, but stopped after two steps. She had to, the train of her dress wouldn't follow. "Can you get off my dress please?"

Gunther waited until she turned around to lift his shiny black wingtips from the pink train. "You owe me fifty bucks."

She unwillingly lifted her arms, quite a feat in the over-tailored corset-turned-bridesmaid's-dress-from-hell. "Does this thing look like it has pockets?"

He took a little too long with his inspection. "Are we dancing or what?" she huffed. He blinked at her as if she woke him from something. "Who said anything about dancing?"

"Would you rather go play with the Harry Potter crew?"

He looked at the table and shrugged. "I'm out of cash no matter which way I go. Might as well take the lesser of two evils."

She was prepared to call him seven different names her mother would disown her for when he cupped her arm and led her onto the empty dance floor. She looked up at him, temporarily at a loss.

"Don't sweat it, Jane. If I let you dance all by yourself, your mother would never forgive me." Gunther smirked. Jane had a questioning look in her eyes, but let it pass.

The second he took her into his arms, causing a sensation she couldn't quite describe in English as anything other than "_mmmm_", the music started. Jane faltered in her steps, tripping over her dress and squashing Gunther's toes. This didn't happen just once, this happened twenty billion times more. Okay, maybe that was a bit of an exaggeration. Every time, she cringed and carried on, missing every beat, moving as gracefully as an elephant on the dance floor.

"Jesus, Jane, what the hell are you doing?"

"I'm _sorry,"_ she looked down, avoiding his glare. "I have no idea what I'm doing. I don't even know why I dragged us out here." Gunther's expression softened a little and smirked.

"No, you clearly don't. Luckily, I am quite the expert when it comes to dancing." This made Jane laugh.

"Yeah, right. I'm leaving." She began to walk off when he caught her arm. "Now, hold on. I did not waste fifty god damn dollars to make a fool of myself by stumbling around like an idiot with you. We are doing this properly whether you like it or not." Whilst placing his hand on her hip, Jane blushed. _What was he doing_? This was not the bog weevil that she knew. Nervously, she lightly rested her hand on his shoulder.

"Take my hand." So she did.

"Take a deep breath." She closed her eyes as she did so, feeling him holding her closer.

"Take one step, and keep your eyes on mine." She followed his steps, slowly, one at a time. Her green orbs locked onto his grey ones. She sucked in a breath. His eyes were beautiful. Before now, she could've easily said they were a boring, light blue. But oh, was she wrong. They were misty and gray, like the sea after a storm. Or like heavy clouds. They seemed so close, but she knew that behind them, they were somewhere far away, hiding mischief and secrets.

"Now, just listen. Listen to the music. Let it be your guide." He whispered in her ear, sending a shiver down her spine.

Soon enough, she got the hang of it. They were no longer awkwardly swaying to the music. Now, with every step, she just got better. Gunther abruptly stepped away from her. Jane felt a little hurt.

"Why did you stop?"

Gunther smiled, bowing gracefully with an outstretched hand. "Can I have this dance, Lady Jane?"

_Oh, how gentlemanly_. Jane mentally rolled her eyes as an embarrassed giggle emerged from her lips. She curtsied as if they were at a ball.

"Why, of course you may, Sir Gunther." She took his hand as he pulled her close once more, only closer than before. He took the lead, as they turned, and twirled she felt safe with him. She wasn't afraid to fall, not with Gunther here.

The music suddenly shifted.

Well, at least the DJ was good. Anything Bryan Addams was good, but the flamenco thrums of guitar started._ 'Have you ever really, really ever loved a woman_?' did something unusual to her heartbeat. It wasn't until Gunther breech, of all people, dipped her about halfway through the song that Jane realized she might have been safer with the kids.

Kids didn't touch her. Kids didn't wink at her.

Most importantly, kids didn't know how to make her body move and fit to theirs like a glove.

Gunther brought her up from the dip slowly, somehow or another making her neck fall back so that his face was less than an inch from her chest.

Oh yes, this was definitely a bad, bad, bad idea.

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

"You sure you're okay, Jane?"

Not the voice she wanted to hear, especially not haunting the outside of the bathroom, but Jane had finally resigned herself to spending the entire wedding all but glued to the most exasperating person she'd ever met ever since she was eleven.

She'd tried to escape the intimacy of dancing with him, she really did. She tried to capture the attention of the happy bride and groom from all the way across the room, but to no avail. She searched the room countless times for Jester, her best friend since the third grade. Where the hell was he? Jane suddenly wondered why she hadn't seen him all day. Odd. They were usually inseperable.

She did manage to spot Smithy at the open bar with a fake blonde clinging to his arm. All he could do was smile apologetically and dodge the silly, naïve girls attempts to lure him into her bed.

Jane sighed, but Gunther's eyes took on that gleam she knew so well. The one that said he was hatching something. So, she'd stayed, twirling and twisting to his every whim, watching that gleam grow brighter and his smile more predatory.

She decided to discount what he did to his hips.

For two hours, they kept going, she, afraid to give him time alone to make whatever arrangements that might torture her, and he, looking happier and happier about it. If his hands cupped her hips and something jumped in response, it was for the sake of self-preservation. If, during that one song when he turned her so her back was to his front, her heart stopped beating because his hand slid across her from her shoulder, down between her corseted breasts and over her opposite hip…well, she was just horrified.

She decided to ignore that warm brandy feeling in her belly. But finally, the standoff ended. He won. He didn't beat her will, though. No, the only thing he'd outlasted was her bladder and her feet. One was full and the others were blistered. Damn Pepper and her insistence on stilettos that could have double for an S&M device. The laces criss-crossed about twenty times over the top of her foot and her ankle. Each and every one had lacerated her.  
>Unfortunately, she only had herself to blame for the glasses of champagne they both drank that were making her dizzy and… well, still full. She blamed the kids for the lack of meal. So, here she was, alone in the back bathroom, trying for the hundredth-thousandth time to reach the hooks in the back of her dress so she could relieve herself. "No," she finally grumbled. "I can't- I can't get out of this… stupid thing!"<p>

"What thing?" Gunther asked through the door.

"This dress."

He stayed quiet for all of one minute.

"Gunther?"

"Yeah?"

"Can you help me?"

More silence.

"Gunther!"

"I just want to get this clear s you don't knock my teeth in if I open the door."

"_Gunther_." She growled. Why did he have to be such a beef brain?

"You're asking me to come in there and help you _out of your dress_?"

"Yes," She hissed.

"Okaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay."

"Damn it, Gunther!" she turned as he opened the door. "Hurry up, I don't want anyone to know we're in here together."

"Yeah, they might get the idea I'm _getting you out of your dress_ or something." Gunther remarked with a slight chuckle.

"Keep in mind," she seethed, "I'm about ready to pop here and I'm not afraid to take you with me."

He made a face, then put his hands on her shoulders. Warm hands. They were also rough, probably from the wooden swords they used to practice fighting with when they were children. She remembered he practiced almost every day until he was sixteen just to be better than her. Jane gave it up two years later, when she too was also sixteen.

'_Unladylike_' her mother had called it. "_You're sixteen now, you should be on the lookout for a future husband_." She had said. She spoke as if they lived centuries and centuries back.

"Why do you need to take the whole thing off anyway? Don't you just have to pick up the skirt?"

"You'd think." She'd actually begged. Pepper had been insistent. "There's under….stuff." she said with a grimace.

The tiny hooks at the back might as well have been staples instead of closures. Her mother had gotten a few nicks sealing up the bridesmaids and Gunther seemed to be having the same luck.

"Bleed on this dress and I'll kill you."

"I had the strong impression that you hated this dress."

"I do, and I want to enjoy ripping every stitch of it apart without you getting first dibbs on the damage."

"Jesus, Jane, Someone has to do something about your rage issues."

She spun around, too late realizing he wasn't hopping along to the side of her to avoid her and the ripping sound wasn't him trampling her train. "What just happened?" she asked cautiously.

"Well, that bleeding thing is a moot point, now." Gunther said plainly.

"What?"

"Your stupid dress kinda hooked my arm. "Where'd you get this deathtrap, anyway?" Gunther said, attempting to remove the hook sticking out in annoyance.

"Pepper made them."

"I never thought she disliked you this much. She seriously needs to stay in the kitchen." He murmured.

"You're the one bleeding smart ass." She stopped moving around and waiting for him to unhitch them. She felt the urge to tug a few times, but nothing seemed to be happening. "Gunther?"

"Yeah?"

"Can you just hurry?"

"I'm trying," he replied, sounding a little more tense than she'd ever heard him. And she'd worked desperately to rile him over the years.

"Whats the matter?"

"I think your dress likes me."

She tried to twist to see but only succeeded in pulling him back around her and making him pant a little bit in pain.

"Stop chasing your tail, Jane! Bleeding, remember?"

"Wuss. Unhook us already!"

After a couple of minutes, plus a few frustrated, unladylike insults from Jane, Gunther finally spoke.

"Ummmm…."

This wasn't happening. _This wasn't happening._

"I don't think I can. The hooks got caught in different directions in this cuff and the skin of my wrist is kinda pinched in the middle. We need some scissors."

The both looked to the closed door leading to the kitchen hallway, in hopes of finding Lavinia. Their eyes met, considering walking back into the reception with his hand stuck to her back. Then, as if they both remembered what they were doing in the first place, they both looked over to the white toilet bowl in the corner.

_This, officially, had become the wedding from Hell._

**Oh maa goooshhh! What is poor Jane and Gunther going to do next?**

**Yaaaaaaaay! This one was tiring to write. Phewwww, glad I got it done. How was it? Please R&R they would be much appreciated. That little dance scene was inspired by "can I have this dance" from High School Musical 3 3 if you haven't heard it because you live under a rock, go listen! Its so sweet and cute and makes me feel like spewing rainbows. Okay, maybe not. Next chapter will be up by Thursday maybe. Not sure, because I work a lot :D :p yeah, Au Revoir!**


	3. Chapter 3 Problems

**Hi guys! It's been forever, i know. And i am actually so sorry for the wait! My computer actually had 94% virus thank to my idiotic brother so we had to get it rebooted. All my files were lost and i had to start this all over again. But with determination, i managed to salvage what i could and powered on! I hope you enjoy this chapter. Be aware however for any spelling mistakes (Don't be a grammar Nazi) and for the crude humour and the sexual references and some swearing. Once again, i can't seem to make Gunther annoying and Jane is still on edge. But who wouldn't be in this situation?**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Jane and the Dragon or any of the characters.**

**Chapter 3**

"God, Jane, can't you just wait until we find someone to cut us free?"

Jane wanted to say yes. She wanted to say she could hold it until the day she died, but unfortunately, this was starting to look like the day she'd die. She shook her head. "I used up all my willpower holding it while we were dancing."

Gunther had that god-awful smirk carved onto his face. "I thought that wiggle was starting to look desperate."

She eyed him, but said nothing. "We have another problem first," She huffed.

"Of course we do." She didn't even blame him for the sarcasm.

"You see, Pepper made me wear this wierd _thing,_ to keep the lines of the dress smooth."

"Why am i getting scared?"

She snapped at him with a tight smile. "Because, you can probably imagine what happens to testicles when they're shoved up where ovaries are supposed to be." Seriously, things were getting urgent and he was worried about fear.

"Well, I am now."

"It's like a bloody strapless bathing suit underneath." Jane thought she should just hold it and hope she didn't survive the urinary rupture. But then again, she could survive humiliation if she had revenge on her mind.

"Can't you just shimmy out of it or something?" His voice was restless now.

Shutting her eyes tight with embarrassment, she felt her face flush. "It's going to take some... _yanking_."

Gunther's eyes widened. Then he swallowed like there was an anvil in his throat. "You want me..."

She waited for him to continue, but he didn't seem capable. So she shifted and the pain brought him back from wherever his glazed gaze had taken him. "You want me to uh..." He cleared his throat and looked elsewhere around the room, landing his eyes on anywhere but her. For a third time, he tried again. "You want me to _rip your underwear off_?" He sounded strangely uncertain and definitely uncomfortable.

All evidence of his nervous demeanor disappeared completely. Instead the stupid smirk was back. "I feel like I've died and gone to Heaven." He murmured.

"You will if you don't watch it, Breech. Just... reach under..." She said, exasperated.

He bent, carefully keeping his arm extended and lifting layers of the skirt. Next thing she knew, she felt his hand searching its way up her thighs. Jane looked up at the ceiling, biting her lips. Somehow, this was not how she envisioned his first dive under her dress. She paled at this thought.

Not that she ever envisioned that. On purpose.

His hand found the back of her rear end and slipped under the edge of the fabric. She felt a slight tug and realised, "Oh my god, my life is over."

He tugged again, harder.

Still nothing.

"Jane, I think we need to rethink about this plan."

"No, we don't"

"I've got one hand here, Jane. Maybe if i grab the middle-"

"Grab the middle, and it will be the last thing that hand ever does!"

His eyes lit up in a mischeivous way and pondered as if it explained something. "So I'm guessing then, you don't get a lot of company down here."

_That insolent womanizing pig! _"Gunther, so help me, I wil rip your arm off right here, right now and beat you with it, do you understand?"

"Jesus," He said with a laugh. "I was only joking. Partly. Just Let me just get a look-" He picked up her skirt and pulled it over his head.

"Gunther!" She was quick to react, but too mortified to scream.

"Sounded like a dying rat." His voice came out a little muffled. "Dammit there's no light under here. You can't see a thing."

"Get out of there!" She swung her leg and copped him on the chin.

"Tell you what, how about you use your spare hand and i use mine on either side of your hips, and we yank together."  
>"Sure. Fine. Dandy." She was absoloutley desperate.<p>

His inky hair was mussed, going in every direction. He had a look of annoyance on his face. "On three. One, two, three!"

With a single yank, the constricting material came free. Along with a loud ripping noise and a look of shock on Gunther's face.

"What just happened?" She asked, trying to ignore the draft she could suddenly feel.

"Well o-kay then." Gunther said, eyes wide with pursed lips.

Jane had a terrible feeling as she peered down. She could feel the _thing_ at her ankles. And about half her skirt along with it.

"I couldn't see," He said in what must have been an explanation. But nothing could quite explain this. The waist seam had come apart at his pull until the entire left side now hung past her now bare hip.

Jane closed her eyes again. She had no plans to open them again. Ever.

Suddenly forgetting her urge to pee, she began gathering her skirt and bunched as much as she could back to where it was supposed to be in a hurried manner. They needed help. ASAP. But how on earth were they going to explain themselves?

"I think the brides room has safety pins." her voice was as calm as she could manage.

"I don't know, maybe. Probably not enought to put this back together though. I saw an office on the other side of the hall. Maybe there is a stapler-"

"You want to staple me?" she realised that maybe it wasn't a bad idea. She sighed. "Could you do it without getting my skin?"

He finally faced her, grinning, excitement starting to churn between them. "They might even have scissors in there, too."

Working together with the most evil mind she'd ever encountereed was unusually thrilling. Together, they checked for lurkers down the hall before making their way toward the office. Finally, they came across a door with a silver template that read 'Father Barry'. It was an awkward kind of shuffle as they quietly entered. They both took a breath of relief once the door was closed.

Gunther began searching thoroughly in the desk drawers as she attampted to go through the cabinet. But, the more she bent, the less he could reach. Finally, he insisted she look at him.

"This is really not going to work, Jane. Im going to do something here and you're going to let me or we're going to be stuck like this for a long time."

Logic could be annoying, but the idea of being caught not only half dressed and stuck to eachother, but rifling through the priests personal area wasn't appealing. Reluctantly, she nodded.

Gunthers free hand pulled her close so that she was practically laying on his chest. He even tucked her head under his chin and if she wasn't mistaken, his snagged hand hugged her closer as if he were protecting her. "Now, stay still and let me do the work." This would have made Jane pull back in distaste, but she found this oddly comforting, much like when he held her as they danced.

It was a bad time to develop a dirty mind, but Jane couldn't help it. He was holding her so close, his warmth was seeping into her despite the armor of her dress as he whispered, sending shivers down her back to where his hand braced her close. Added to the idea of Gunther doing all the work... Suddenly being next to a big flat surface like that desk was more tempting than she ever imagined.

"Found the scissors!" He said, breaking her attention from the furniture. She wanted to smack herself. She was in a priest's rectory! Her mother would have her excommunicated for her thoughts. She didn't even want to think about what Gunther might do.

"Stapler! We're looking good, Jane."

Yeah, good. He smelled good too, even after all that dancing. She hadn't noticed so much before, but with her face pressed into his shirt it was hard to miss.

Gunther, she reminded herself, trying to shake off the unexpected wanting of _him._

Gunther, who was always finding the most disrespectful ways to address her in any opportune moment.

Gunther, who always took sick glee in laying flat on her when she took a fall until she couldn't breathe.

Gunther, who spent way too much time scaring off potential- or worse, current- boyfriends.

Gunther, who was nestling his chin against her hair and ever so slightly rubbing her back.

Jane froze. What was going on here? They were practically hugging. Getting along. Working together.

She tilted her head back, careful to look up at him and think not a single thing about how good it felt to be exactly where she was. But then she met his hooded grey gaze and being careful fell right out of her head.

"You know why I've always liked your mouth, Jane?" He asked in that whispery voice again, but it was twice as intimate as before. He reached his free hand to rub his thumb over the bottom edge of her lip. Those shivers started again. "Even when you're calling me names, it's the _perfect_ shape for kissing."

Her brain was completely disconnected and so her mouth had to be on auto-pilot. Which explained why it didn't do anything when his eyes closed and his lips descended to hers.

Well, that wasn't quite true.

She moaned.

Then her hands turned traitor too and held onto him tighter. What was left of her consciousness decided to do exactly what he told her to do earlier, stay still and let him do all the work. She never realized what and ethic the guy had. There wasn't a millimeter of her mouth that he didn't taste, tease and tempt. Why, he even managed to change gravity somehow because the world seemed to be tripping, Down, down down, to the nice flat desk.

Very nice.

He finally left her mouth, kissing down the side of her neck, nibbling and saying wonderfull things like "Oh, god, Jane..." She forgot about the rip in her dress as her body got too warm to care about the draft and especially not when he reached beneath the layers to pull one of her legs over his hip. Who knew tuxedo slacks were so nice on the skin? He was just a heartbeat from her corset when there came a draft she couldn't ignore.

One from the doorway.

What she expected was a sixty- something year old priest gasping in shock from the sight of all that was unholy. What she really saw was worse. _Far worse._

Standing in the doorway with his blue tuxedo stood Jester, frozen, with his mouth parted and eyes the size of the moon.

"_Shit_." Came Gunthers audible reaction.

**Oh no! cliffhanger! :o **

**Reviews would be lovely and a new chapter is in the works! I know, kind of short but you see, theres this wall... also known as writers block- and there was absooutely no way around it. luckily i managed to knock a few bricks down and this is the result! holidays are coming soon so i will have more time to update then, I can't promise how long it will take for the next chapter but i can promise that it won't take seven months to update again :) also, this is nearly coming to an end, maybe one or two chapters so be prepared! Till next time~**


	4. Chapter 4 Jessie's Girl

**Inspired by Rick Springfields "Jessie's Girl." x) If you havent heard it because you live under a rock, or something i suggest you hear it. It's actually such a cool song!One of the best from the 80's... well, i like to think so anyway.**

**This one is a little short...**

**Also, heres Jester! Hes OOC I'm afraid. I don't know how to write about him, it feels so foreign to write about other characters.**

**Disclaimer:I do not own Jane and the Dragon or any of the characters. I also do not own the song "Jessie's Girl."**

**Chapter 4**

Never in her life had Jane ever felt this guilty.

Not when she accidentally put her uncle Theodore into a coma for three whole weeks. Not when she nearly burnt Peppers kitchen down, or ruined Rakes prize winning garden. Not even when she was sitting at the kiddie table, ignoring the mindless children.

Nothing could compare to the look on Jester's face the moment he walked in. Yet Jane was incapable of moving her limbs.

There was no doubt that Jester was crazy about Jane. She knew the day she noticed him look at her funny when she was twelve. His feelings were always displayed in his eyes. There was always one feeling in particular that she constantly dismissed and refused to believe. But she knew. Those feeling were always there and she couldn't help but feel guilty.

Gunther cleared his throat from his position in Janes cleavage, quickly pulling apart from their compromising position.

"Jane?"

"Jester!"

"Gunther!?"

"Hola."

Jester took one look at Jane's bedraggled condition of her dress and confusion surged over him. "What the hell?"

"W-we were just-... I mean we- um, I..." Jane was truly lost for words, still shaky from what had happened. Well, no, first she'd have to admit something had happened, die of shame, then admit she was still shaky.

She couldn't even spare Jester a glance, knowing already that the 'kicked puppy' look was probably plastered on his face. Oh God, she thought, feeling her cheeks turning to the colour of her hair.

"Oh, uh- well I-I guess um... S-sorry," Jester stammered, unable to form a coherent sentence, let alone thought. All he really had to do was step out of the room and close the door. His legs wouldn't let him. At that strange moment the lyrics of "Jessie's Girl" had popped into his head.

I wish I had Jessie's Girl.

If only he had the ability to turn invisible. That would be great.

"Well, this sure is awkward." Gunthers voice broke through the silence.

"I'll just leave." Jester was flustered.

Jane shifted, making sure the idiot attached to her felt pain.

"Motherf-"

"Wait, Jester, could you please help us?" Jane begged, realizing her forgotten urge to pee. She turned revealing Gunthers hand stuck onto her back.

"Uh, I'll just get help-"

"No!" Both Jane and Gunther shouted.

After a few awkward seconds, he reluctantly agreed.

"What the hell did he do to you?" Jester cried upon closer inspection of Janes dress.

"Me?" Gunther cried.

"Well, technically it is your fault." Jane had to admit.

"I thought we agreed that this was pepper's fault," Gunther replied, not so much as missing a beat until Jester tried to pull Gunther away. Gunthers eyes bugged and Jane felt herself being jolted backwards as he instinctively tried to undo the clamping on his wrist by lining her back up with him.

"That isn't going to work, genius," Remarked Gunther. "What we need is someone to get us free."

"And staple me shut." She added meekly.

He looked at her with blankness, and looked away. Jane knew for sure a look of pain flashed in his eyes. A patch was cut out of Janes dress, leaving the unhooking and the stapling left.

Gunther felt the hook practically being ripped out of his wrist.

"Jesus! Try to be more careful!" An eyeroll was the only sympathy Gunther got.

Jane was stapled as soon as possible, literally bolting out of the room afterwards to relieve her bladder. Also to leave the presence of both Gunther and Jester. She couldn't handle her feelings at the moment. How are you supposed to feel when you get caught by your best friend, (Who also happens to be totally infatuated with you since forever) sucking face with your childhood nemesis?

This left Jester and Gunther alone.

* * *

><p>"So, You and Jane, huh?" Jester tried not to get too upset about this.<p>

"What about me and Jane?" If there was anything Gunther's father had told him, it was that innocence will get you far.

"Oh, don't play coy. I saw you two on the desk."

"Of course not, Jester. The desk? We were looking for supplies. Are you on meds?" Well, it was partly true.

The problem was that Gunther sounded so sure that Jester could almost believe him. If he hadn't seen it with his own eyes. "I know what I saw, Gunther. You're not fooling anyone."

"Jester, would I lie to you?"

"In a blink of an eye."

He had nothing to say to that.

* * *

><p>Jane was finally able to relax. She took her time wandering down the hall, feeling freed and refreshed. Before entering the office she heard Jesters voice, calm and firm and sad. What she heard made her stop in her tracks.<p>

"Listen, what she sees in you, I will never know. In no uncertain terms then," There was a slight pause. "If you're going to be with Jane, you better treat her well. Do I have your word?"

What the hell?

"Me and Jane? Never in a million years." Gunthers words stung her. His voice cracked a little. Was he just saying that?

"Do not play the innocent with me." Jester was angry now. "So she's nothing to you then? You think you can play around and dispose of her when you get bored?"

"No! Jesus Christ, no." after a few seconds of silence, a heavy sigh followed. "Truth is, I'd love to be with Jane. She's a great person and I've been in love with her since the day she vowed to hate me forever."

Her cheeks began radiating heat. Was he lying, as he so often did? Or was it possible that he was telling the truth? This almost made her break. Her eyes began to sting with tears. Gunther couldn't be in love with her. He hated her. He made her crazy. He insinuated his way into her life and made her blood pressure skyrocket. He enjoyed making her mad and scream.

And she liked doing the same thing.

Her heart began to uncontrollably speed up. "But, she's got hopes and dreams. Goals. I'd just slow her down. I meant what I said though, me and Jane-" That's when it began to sink. "We can't be together."

"Sure didn't look like you were slowing down when I walked in." Jester voice was sad and wry. "I'm not saying that you deserve her. Nobody does- but, if you hurt her, you will have me to answer to."

There was another round of silence.

"I was enthusiastic."

Jester didn't miss a beat. "You were literally mauling her."

That was her queue.

She could hear chuckles upon entering the room.

"Mauling what?" Clueless was a classic act.

"Nothing," Jesters voice was lighter than before, still tinged with a touch of sadness. "I should get back to the party. Wouldn't want to miss out on... Cake! Yes, the cake." He was in a hurry to leave.

"Jester!" Hearing her voice, he paused. She really wanted to tell him how sorry she was but she didn't know how. "Save me a piece?" she lamely said.

He answered with a simple nod. "Talk to you later." It sounded more like a promise. And with that, he was gone.

She turned to Gunther. He tilted his head with a frown, making his eyebrows knit as he tried to figure out what she was thinking. She didn't know what to tell him either, what to say. She wasn't sure what she was thinking or feeling either.

"So."

"So."

He took a steady step forward. She then felt him thumb on her cheek, a gentle brush of the pad across her cheekbone.

How many memories had him in them? What good were any of the memories without him?

She gently curled her palm around his wrist, clutching it for dear life. In that moment, everything was changing.

Then again, maybe not in that particular moment. Maybe for the last five or six years had been headed for this moment. The second when she realized that Gunther freaking Breech was probably the reason she lived and breathed. Always had been... And always would be.

"You okay, Jane?"

She basked in his concern. Thrilled for his touch. Ached for his kiss.

His frown deepened when she shook her head. Then he must have put two and two together because his eyes widened and his expression brightened until his smile was like to blind her.

He dipped his head and probably would have kissed her...

If Lavinia didn't walk through the door at that precise moment.

**Again!? whaaaat? I know, i had no idea where the hell this was going. It was tough to write about Jester. I couldn't quite incorporate his feelings properly. I'll do that in the next chapter or so. It may take a little while for me to brainstorm a little on the next chapter though. Oh, and seriously, Jessie's Girl has been stuck in my head for like a week.**

**Reviews would be lovely, and ideas too. **

**On a bit of a sad note, I've noticed a large number of viewers, and i am over the moon about it. Reviews make me happy, and to be honest it's a tad discouraging to find not many reviews. But, I will keep writing for you lovely silent readers. I know you're out there!**

**Till next time, Toodles~**


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